i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
