You work out of a Hotel?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
That's how pantless uber rides happen
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
