He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
