I want to stick my p in your. b.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
