if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
