Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
