Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just blew my weed a kiss
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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