Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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