NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize