so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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