you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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