The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
