i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
