Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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