Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
