is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
