OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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