Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
