I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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