I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
My balls are so social today.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
