he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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