He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
