from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
