how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I need moral support for this bender
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
