why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
