I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
