I wish my penis had an off switch
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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