why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
