Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
