Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
