I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize