I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
