4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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