The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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