Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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