guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
