I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
