he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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