We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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