There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
