Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
