it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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