Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
