I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize