Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
