If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
