Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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