I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
We named our party play list daddy issues
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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