Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
