it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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