i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
