my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
it was like eating out sand paper
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize