yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Let's get the cat blown out
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