is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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