No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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