i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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