You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
