So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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