No period for spring break; use this wisely.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
