i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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