You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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